literally the first thing to pop into my head after finding this fan art of a Wizard’s Duel

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It’s going down

I’m yellin’ timber

we better move

they gonna cast

it be a fight

outcome don’t matter

cos it be the one we don’t forget

(we don’t forget!)

 

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5e Sorcerer

imagein a recent online survey, the sorcerer was deemed the most unsatisfactory class in dungeons and dragons 5e.

I’m actually playing one right now, and while my DM (not to mention the other players) would probably disagree with me . . . Yes, it is not as sustainable a class as it ought to be.

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^Incorrect spelling aside, emphasis on sustainability, not effectiveness.

The sorcerer is the only class in 5e whose resources are based on entropy. Either you burn through all of its resources in a single combat encounter and feel like a total badass, or you manage your resources extremely carefully and are therefore a subpar spellcaster in comparison to everyone else.

here are my proposed fixes to the class:

  1.  Spells known increases to 5 at first level, and learn one additional spell at each higher sorcerer level, to a maximum of 24 (instead of 15) at 20th level.
  2. Sorcery Points regain on a short rest.  This is the biggest issue folks.  With their current long rest recovery, a sorcerer simply does not have enough sorcery points to be a truly contributing member of the party in more than one or two combat encounters.
  3. Creation of new spell slots costs a number of sorcery points equal to 1 + the spell slot level.  Sorcerers do not get arcane recovery, so the entropic cost of creating a new spell slot needs to be lower than it currently is.
  4. Double the number of Metamagic options known.  4 at 3rd level, 2 at 10th and 17th level.  The complaints I have read about online about a player picking the wrong Metamagic options for their character build are practically innumerable.

The Companions

generally speaking, I prefer the Dragonlance novels to those of the Forgotten Realms.

Tanis Half-Elf, Caramon, Raistlin, Tasselhoff, Laurana, Sturm, Kitiara, Lord Soth, and Flint the Hill Dwarf (the epitome of cantankerous old dwarf) . . . Give me these guys over Driz’zt the Drow Ranger, Jarlaxle, Artemis, and the truly messed-up Drow elves of Faerun any day.

There is one exception to this statement, however.  The Companions by R.A. Salvatore.

The premise of this novel is simple but really beautiful: three of Driz’zt companions have died (old age, death in battle, etc.) and are sitting in the afterlife, waiting to go to the paradise of their respective deities, when the goddess of the wild offers them a choice.

They can continue on to the celestial halls of their gods, or they can be reborn into the material world so as to rescue Driz’zt from certain death in ~25 years time.

Needless to say, they agree to return, and the rest of the book details their second chance of life, from birth, childhood, adolescence, early adulthood, and their rescue of Driz’zt.

Of the three characters who the novel follows, the stories of Catti-Brie and Bruenor are far and away the best.

 

CATTI-BRIE

Catti-Brie was Driz’zt’s human wife and the adopted daughter of Bruenor.  Accustomed to life in the forests, prairies, and mountains of the north, she is reborn in the desert far to the east.

In addition, as a consequence of having been a follower of the goddess of the wild, she is rewarded in her second life with Druidic-type magic . . . In a society where the arcane magic of Wizards and Sorcerers reigns supreme, and the magic of Druids is persecuted.

There is a beautiful scene when she is a teenager, and she looks out across the desert and her mind wanders to thinking about her companions.

She thinks of Regis the Halfling and how he used to fish by tying the line directly to his toes.  She wonders if she will recognize him if she ever sees him again, and then chuckles to herself and decides that yes, she most certainly will.

For one thing, she knows of nobody else who fishes using their toes instead of a net or fishing pole.

 

BRUENOR

Bruenor was the adopted father of Catti-Brie and father-in-law of Driz’zt.

He was also the equivalent of High King of the Dwarves, so he doesn’t take it very well at all when he realizes that the dwarf kingdom he’s been reborn into isn’t his original kingdom, is in fact the equivalent of a vassal-state to the kingdom he ruled over in his previous life, and worse yet, he himself is no longer royalty.

In his memories, he is King Bruenor, mightiest of the dwarf lords and rightful ruler of Mithral Hall . . . But to every one else he’s “Little Arr Arr”, son of the deceased Reginald Roundshield.

In my opinion, the following scene sums up Bruenor’s struggle best.

In the scene, he is a preteen undergoing training to be a soldier.  He looks down at his hands . . . and realizes that he doesn’t trust them yet.

In his previous life, his hands had done many things: fought Giants, signed a peace treaty with the orcs, carried injured comrades from the field of battle, and crushed the skull of a drow queen.

But his new hands have done none of these things.  They’re the hands of a child, attached to a body that has never suffered a debilitating injury, never fought in a battle, and never had to march for hours on end without stopping to rest.

 

 

 

 

Disgusted

I condemn the actions of the neo-nazis, KKK, and other white supremacist movements that terrorized Charlottesville.

I also watched president trump’s speech yesterday, with disgust growing in my stomach at what he was saying.

Folks, the simple fact is that it was a white supremacist, acting with the support of his organization, who plowed his car into a group of people and killed a woman.

In the 1940s, America went to war against fascism.  Our enemies in the European theater of World War II were the Nazi Germans and Fascist Italians.

I am appalled that there are people and organizations in my country who revere some of the most evil people to ever walk the earth.

I am sickened by the realization that there are those who associate themselves with the darkest and most hateful philosophies to ever be dreamed up by the minds of men.

 

Can life get any better?

power rangers was a far better movie than it frankly had any right to be.

this is good.

Star Wars: the Last Jedi comes out this year.

This is better.

But the BEST news of all is that the first teaser for Pacific Rim Uprising is out.

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YEAH-WOOOOOO!!!

The suicide squad saves New York from the chitauri invasion

When it comes to awesome pictures, this is my default:

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Seriously, it’s the coolest ever.

so, on Friday night, me and the other people I play D&D 5e with were sitting around the table . . . AND WE SAVED THE CITY OF WATERDEEP!!!

It was pure chaos.  Explosions everywhere!  Cultists trying to blot out the sun!  Derro rampaging through the streets!  The greatest city in Faerûn practically on it’s knees!

And we saved the city!  We triumphed!  Yeah, we’re probably all gonna die over the next few weeks, but hey, most of the heroes in classical mythology met with rather nasty deaths, so that’s not an issue for me.

For everyone involved in the creation of 5th edition D&D, thank you.

I LOVE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!!!

 

 

 

The Church of the Divine Lucre

This post—and all prior or subsequent posts regarding the adaptation of Exile into Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition—is intended for entertainment and homebrew table-top game play purposes only.
It is not intended for profit or to infringe upon the copyrights of Spiderweb Software.

 

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Followers of the Church of the Divine Lucre believe that only the rich get into heaven. Everyone else is squashed to a pulp and fermented into wine drunk by the wealthy inhabitants of heaven
Make of this belief what you will.

They’re prone to giving speeches about how the Church of the Divine Lucre led them to financial success and personal happiness.

It is important to remember that they don’t worship money.  Money is just a means to an end.  The end being the worship of the gods through expensive luxuries and exotic pleasures.

They’re  kinda like the Ferengi, only human and less comedic.

Businesses run by followers of this church charge through the nose for their products and services (whatever those might be) and most members don’t give to charity.

The gods help those who help themselves, and all that.

 

SOCIAL HIERARCHY

imageFollowers in the lower and middle ranks of the church hierarchy like to wear fancy clothes, indulge in every kind of excess, and fill their homes with all manner of extravagant luxuries.

And then you get to those in the upper eschelons of the faith . . .

Members at this level aren’t concerned with the acquisition of wealth for pleasure.
They seek to merge with it. Body and soul.

They don’t generally wear clothes, instead adorning themselves with face-masks, necklaces, wrist and ankle bracelets, earrings and nose rings.
They like to paint their bodies silver and replace their fingernails with brass talons (+1 to attack, 1d4 magical slashing + 1d6 psychic on a hit).
Finally, they use a needle and thread to weave strands of gold directly into the skin all across their body, even the genitals.

They don’t tend to live for very long, and insanity is a disturbingly common affliction.

Metal poisoning’s a bitch.

 

ADVENTURE HOOKS

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After entering the city of Silvar and reading the sign “Adventurers Wanted. Go to Guardhouse. Will pay 25 gold each on arrival.”, the group of adventurers are stunned to learn that the captain of the guard wants them to break into the mayor’s house and see if they can find any evidence of him being a spy for the enemy.
If the adventurers accept the mission, they’ll discover that the mayor and everyone else he invited to his house are indeed taking bribes from an army of rampaging quaggoths.
The deal is that when the quaggoths attack the city, the church will open the gates and let them in, whereupon the monsters will kill everyone not a member of the faith.
Unfortunately, in their attempt to leave unnoticed, one of the adventurers will accidentally trip over a silver spittoon and alert the partygoers of trespassers . . .
Roll for initiative!

 

A priestess of the Divine Lucre in the city of Blosk approaches the adventurers while they relax in a tavern.
Over a glass of blackberry wine (very rare underground), she hires them to travel west and recover a relic of her faith.
The artifact was stolen by the Cult of the Sacred Item, and she tells the adventurers (truthfully) that if it is not returned to the temple in Blosk in the next two weeks, the artifact will transform the cultists into half-dragon monstrosities and compell them to attack the city, so as to satisfy their amplified greed.
Worse, the city is still recovering from the latest lizardfolk attack. A band of rabid, newly transformed half-dragons would devastate it.
She’s desperate enough to see the artifact recovered that she’s even willing to give each adventurer a magical item from her own treasure collection if they succeed.

Gods of Exile

This post—and all prior or subsequent posts regarding the adaptation of Exile into Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition—is intended for entertainment and homebrew table-top game play purposes only.
It is not intended for profit or to infringe upon the copyrights of Spiderweb Software.

I’ve had this idea in my head about religion in a fantasy setting for a while, and I figure this is as good a place as any to implement it:

What if the gods in a fantasy setting didn’t have names or titles?

Aphrodite? The Brother of Tears? Corellon Larethian? The Devourer of Colors? Gruumsh? The Raven Queen? Thor?

Names and titles of false gods.

In my world of Exile, gods are spirits that cannot be limited in any way, so to try and give that deity a specific identity is to deny it’s limitless nature.
Which is considered blasphemy.

The only descriptor a deity in my world of Exile accepts is “God” (or the closest translation to it in other languages).

How many deities are there?
One?
Ten?
Thousands?
Nobody really knows except the gods themselves, and they certainly aren’t telling.

Improved map of Exile

Especial thanks to Jeff Vogel of Spiderweb Software for having created this wonderful and unique fantasy world.

This post—and all prior or subsequent posts regarding the adaptation of Exile into Dungeons and Dragons 5th edition—is intended for entertainment and homebrew table-top game play purposes only.
It is not intended for profit or to infringe upon the copyrights of Spiderweb Software.

When someone is banished to Exile, they are taken to a permanent, one way portal (eight such portals exist, two on each continent) and forced into it.
Upon crossing over, they find themselves standing in the courtyard of an underground fortress.
This fortress is called Fort Exile, and it is here that new arrivals are given their starting equipment, some information about their new home, and a map.

In a previous post, I presented the map of Exile possessed and developed by the Empire (excluding the Tower of Magi. It didn’t exist until after the Empire started throwing people down).
Given the circumstances surrounding its creation, said map is of high quality.
It’s also out of date.
You see, it was created at least one hundred years ago, when the Empire sent down an expeditionary force to map out this underground realm.

The expedition was a complete failure.  Only the hastily drawn up map was recovered, everything else was lost.
One map . . . out of five hundred highly trained men and women, all of their supplies, equipment, and magical items.

Anyway, here’s the map given to new arrivals:
imageResources aren’t as good down here as up there, so it’s of lower quality than the one the Empire has.
But it is more accurate.

 

Exile Adaptation, PC races

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Especial thanks to Jeff Vogel of Spiderweb Software for having created this wonderful and unique fantasy world; which I am attempting to recreate in D&D 5e

I have come to the realization that what I am attempting to do is not a Conversion, but rather an Adaptation.

In the original Exile game, the only PC race available was the human.
In Exile 2 and 3, you could also play as Nephilim or Slithzerikai.
Never heard of them?
Don’t worry, I’ll explain them.
Not in great detail right away, but I will explain a few things.

Anyway, seeing as how this is a fan made adaptation, I see nothing wrong with expanding and renaming some of the PC races.
The question therefore, is what D&D Player Character races are thematically appropriate for Exile?
Here are the six PC races that I believe are the best fit:

Edit: Changed my mind.  The Shadar-Kai are unnecessary, and so have removed them and limited the number of PC races from 6 to 5.

Edit 2: I can’t believe I forgot about the Drow.  This is the perfect setting to play as one, and not have them be just deranged spider cultists.  Although, they still can be if you want them to . . .

 

DROW

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Elves don’t interbreed with humans in this setting, but they are nevertheless a respected part of the Empire, and when they deem a member of their species unfit for continued existence on the surface . . . Whoo, boy.  They really go the extra mile.  The ostracized individual is first stricken of the right to call itself an Elf.  Next, it is subjected to a magic curse that burns its skin a dark gray color (there is no method in existence to reverse this curse, and it only works on the elves).  After this, the hapless individual is renamed a Drow (“hated one”), and finally banished to Exile.

Yeah, is it any wonder the Drow hate the Elves so much, if this is what the Elves do to them?

 

HUMAN
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Humans have been ostracizing each other on our world for being different since time immemorial.
Why would the Empire be an exception?

 

LIZARDFOLK
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The Slithzerikai stand-in.
Also the only player character race native to Exile.
They know nothing of the surface world, only that alien (and oftentimes delicious) creatures have suddenly migrated down to their homelands from somewhere up above.

Side Note: unlike their counterparts in other settings, the Lizardfolk of Exile possess the knowledge of metalsmithing.

 

ORC
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They’re big, ugly, aggressive, and tend to make war on their neighbors.
They refuse to abide by the overly legalistic rules of the Empire, valuing such outdated (and to the empire, dangerous) concepts like personal and societal freedom.
It should come as no surprise that these guys get chucked down into Exile.

 

TABAXI
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Tabaxi are a perfect stand-in for the Nephilim, especially since both species are described as being feline humanoids.
So, why would they be thrown into Exile?
Think of the Empire as the Romans, with the Nephilim/Tabaxi as the Celts.

 

TIEFLING
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They have red skin.
Glowing eyes.
Horns.
Oh, and they claim to be the children of the devil himself . . .
Of course they are gonna get thrown down into Exile!